You are born in some place, you grow up there, you go to school and college there, but you always feel that this place is not the place you belong to, and this lifestyle is not your lifestyle... You're home, your family is here, your friends are around you, but you don't really feel that this place is your home and you want to go to other place. Somewhere... Anywhere... This is what happened to me.
I was born and grew up in Russia. And there are a few reasons why I never felt comfortable there. The first reason is that I'm not an ethnic Russian, and my native language isn't Russian (though my Russian is fluent and even better than some native speakers'), and also my religion is Islam, which is not that loved and accepted in Russia. Because of all of that I have always been looked down on and treated like I'm stupid and uneducated. And this level of meanness and ignorance even grew, after I started wearing hijab (Islamic headscarf).
I should admit that the new generation of Russian people, that grew up within last 24 years after USSR collapsed, is less tolerant and open minded than the generation of our parents used to be. Young Russians have so much hate in their hearts towards people who look different from them, speak different language and believe in the things that are different from the things they believe in. Not all of them like that, of course, there are many really nice and open minded people as well, so I don't want to generalise. But anyway, it's difficult to be different in Russia.
The second reason why I can't feel comfortable in Russia is all that corruption that exist over there. You don't agree with it, you want to change it, but one day you realise that the only thing you can do to change it is to keep yourself from being corrupted. But that's not enough to stop it, because other people don't think like you. For majority of Russian people taking and giving bribes is as normal as eating every day. If you want your child to be accepted to kindergarten you pay bribes, if you're sick and want doctors to treat you better at the hospital you pay bribes, if you want to be sure that you'll be accepted to university you pay bribes and so on. In every field of life, if you want something, you most likely to give a sum of money to someone. It's ridiculous, but it's in people's mentality now, and they don't see anything bad about it. I still can't believe that I've lived in Russia for 24 years, I graduated from high school and two universities and I have never in my life given a bribe to anyone. Believe me, it's very rare and it's very difficult to be an honest person in Russia, but it's not impossible, though.
These two, I think, are main reasons why I always wanted to try to live somewhere abroad to get to know some new cultures, new mentalities and see people's everyday life, and, of course, to see if I can feel more comfortable there, if I can feel there like home...
When I got this opportunity to study in Istanbul, Turkey I decided to not miss it. I was scared to go there alone, because it was my first time traveling so far. I didn't know the country, I didn't know the city and I didn't know the language, and I also had no one there. I had some doubts till the very last moment, but I'm glad I did it, I'm glad I went there.
The first month was very difficult for me, but after I got used and adapted to the new environment, everything was just amazing. I met very nice people, I learnt a new language, I had a chance to live in one of the most beautiful, biggest and oldest cities in the world that had been the capital of the three strongest empires of the past. And yes, I found my home! I found the place where I'm not scared to go out. People will not stare at me there, they will not be mean to me, they will not judge me based on my appearance and what I wear, they will always be ready to help and they will smile to you.
Istanbul now has very special place in my heart, I always want to come back there. I feel there much more comfortable than in my hometown, I FEEL HOME WHEN I'M THERE.
This is my first post and I wanted to make it like kind of an introduction. In the next posts I will be telling you more about Turkey, Istanbul, Turkish people, being a foreign student in Turkey and many more.
Please stay tuned, if you're interested!
